


What a beautiful state we’re in

by definitelythor (yourlionheartx)



Series: Please don't say you love me [2]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF), Video Blogging & YouTube RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-24
Updated: 2014-03-24
Packaged: 2018-01-16 21:55:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1363114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yourlionheartx/pseuds/definitelythor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan and Phil hook up a few times in Orlando, Dan’s still confused and Phil refuses to talk about it</p>
            </blockquote>





	What a beautiful state we’re in

Dan can feel his eyes on him, and it’s getting harder to ignore. Biting at the skin around his thumb, he stares at the queue of fans who want to meet them, trying to avoid glancing over at Phil, because he knows for a fact he won’t be able to look away. He takes his hand from his mouth, picking up a pen and signing someone’s [poster](http://definitelythor.tumblr.com/post/46080734753/title-what-a-beautiful-state-were-in-pairing#), before passing it to Phil. As he passes it, Phil’s fingers brush his, and when Dan looks up at Phil he’s met with a knowing look, Phil raising his eyebrows a little, and then turning to focus on the guy in front of them.

They had spent the whole night before awake, after arriving late and having a stressful time getting through customs. They were both kind of high off adrenaline and had drank too many mini bottles of champagne on the plane. Phil had pressed himself against Dan as soon as they were inside their hotel room, and he’d just muttered something about being horny before pushing Dan back onto the bed and pulling his t shirt over his head.

In the morning Phil had woke Dan up by climbing on top of him and kissing over his neck and collar, biting the skin until Dan was smiling against Phil’s lips.

“Let’s order room service. I’m paying,” Phil said.

“Sounds good.”

Dan reached out to flatten a bit of hair at the side if Phil’s head that kept sticking up. He ran his fingers through it and laughed when it sprang [back up](http://definitelythor.tumblr.com/post/46080734753/title-what-a-beautiful-state-were-in-pairing#) into place, and then he leant forward to nuzzle Phil’s neck. The sun was streaming in through the window, and Dan smiled and watched as Phil got out of bed, totally naked, and began to walk over to the phone.

“This is a good view, I’m liking this,” Dan said, and Phil turned around to smile at him.

They spent the rest of the morning just lounging on their [beds](http://definitelythor.tumblr.com/post/46080734753/title-what-a-beautiful-state-were-in-pairing#), pushed together to make a double, eating too much and licking pancake syrup from each others lips. After a call from their friend Matt, inviting them out for the morning, Phil had ducked under the covers and sucked Dan off before he rolled out of bed and challenged Dan to race him to the shower.

They’re in another country and somehow the space between them has closed, so there are no boundaries, and Dan knows that being away from home doesn’t mean they should slip back into this, but he feels [the back](http://definitelythor.tumblr.com/post/46080734753/title-what-a-beautiful-state-were-in-pairing#) of Phil’s fingers brush his as they walk, and he can’t find a reason to give a fuck.

Later in Tyler’s hotel room, with everyone there talking and sharing pizza, Dan positions himself between Phil’s legs, where they’re sitting on the floor, and leans back into him. Phil’s hand rests on Dan’s hip, fingers grazing the skin, and he moves down to press a kiss to his neck. If anyone’s noticed then they don’t care enough to mention it.

*

It’s about four in the morning when they’re finally outside their hotel room. Phil moves close to Dan, pressing himself into Dan’s back and Dan can feel him smiling against [the back](http://definitelythor.tumblr.com/post/46080734753/title-what-a-beautiful-state-were-in-pairing#) of his neck, one hand reaching to rest on his hip under his t shirt. He presses his mouth to the side of Dan’s neck and bites down gently into the skin before dragging his lips over the same spot.

“I can’t find our fucking room key,” Dan mutters.

“Hurry up,” Phil urges. His fingers tighten on Dan’s hip and he rocks his hips [forward](http://definitelythor.tumblr.com/post/46080734753/title-what-a-beautiful-state-were-in-pairing#), pressing his hard cock against Dan’s ass.

“Oh fuck,” Dan breathes out. He thinks about tipping his rucksack upside down and emptying the contents onto the floor, but he’s about ninety percent sure that he left the key somewhere stupid downstairs. .

Phil’s hand moves around him to press his palm over the front of Dan’s jeans. His other hand comes up to press against the lovebite he sucked into Dan’s neck the night before, just under his t shirt collar. Dan sighs and tilts his head back so Phil can kiss him.   
  


“Just fuck me here,” Dan mutters, “please just -”

“Get a room,” they hear someone call, and Dan breaks from the kiss to glare over at Finn, who’s fitting his own room key into it’s lock and grinning over at them.

“We’re trying,” Phil says.

Finn answers a call, holding his phone to his ear and smiling over at the two of them before walking into his room. The parts of the conversation that are caught cause Dan to return his eyes to Phil. _The stairwell is closed for re-painting, so every one had to cram into the lift._

Dan can tell Phil is thinking the same thing as him.

“That’s filthy, Daniel.”

“Shut up.”

Phil presses open the fire door, smiling at the ‘closed for painting’ [sign](http://definitelythor.tumblr.com/post/46080734753/title-what-a-beautiful-state-were-in-pairing#), and then Dan’s on him again, pressing him back against the door and kissing him. He drops his bag to the floor, and pulls back to swear under his breath as the contents spill out.

“Doesn’t matter,” Phil mutters, catching Dan’s lips again, licking into his mouth.

Dan runs his fingertips under the waistband of Phil’s jeans, and then gets his flies undone and tugs them down, bringing his boxer shorts with them. He doesn’t even check to see if anyone’s around, and Phil’s too far gone to actually care if someone sees them now. Dan sinks to his knees and begins placing kisses over Phil’s thigh and his hip. Phil closes his eyes and leans back against the wall, threading his fingers through Dan’s hair.

Dan glances up at Phil and licks his lips showily, smirking as Phil opens his eyes to stare down at him with his bottom lip caught between his teeth. Then Dan moves [forward](http://definitelythor.tumblr.com/post/46080734753/title-what-a-beautiful-state-were-in-pairing#) and licks a stripe up Phil’s cock, and Phil’s head falls back again as he chokes out a moan and then presses his lips together, trying to keep quiet.

  
Dan licks again, his hand gripping tightly at the base. He presses his lips to the head, feeling Phil’s hands tighten a little in his hair, and he begins to move down. Phil’s hands are pressing him [forward](http://definitelythor.tumblr.com/post/46080734753/title-what-a-beautiful-state-were-in-pairing#), gently at first, and Dan closes his eyes and takes more of Phil, as deep as he can. Then Phil moves his hips and Dan focuses on relaxing his throat and breathing through his nose.

“Oh god,” Phil moans. Dan pulls back and wipes his mouth with [the back](http://definitelythor.tumblr.com/post/46080734753/title-what-a-beautiful-state-were-in-pairing#) of his hand.

“Fuck my mouth,” he urges, his dark eyes flickering up to meet Phil’s, and Phil just nods his head, unable to form words at this point.

Dan moves [forward](http://definitelythor.tumblr.com/post/46080734753/title-what-a-beautiful-state-were-in-pairing#) again and this time Phil gets a firm grip on his hair and he starts to guide him in, rocking his hips forward and watching with wide eyes as Dan completely submits, groaning around Phil and causing him to shudder. His hips meet Dan’s mouth in a steady rhythm. Then he pushes Dan all the way down, feeling Dan’s throat flutter around the head of his cock, swallowing around him.  
  


“Jesus Christ Dan,” he bites out, feeling Dan’s fingers dig slightly into the skin on his hips. Phil pulls him all the way off, and Dan gasps for air, smiling up at Phil, looking proud of himself.   
  
“You’ve got good at that,” Phil says.

“I learnt from the best.”

Phil tries to hide his smile, remembering eighteen year old Dan wanting to find out if the cherry lube in Phil’s drawer really tasted like cherries and then managing to spill most of the bottle out over Phil’s bed, and Phil showing him, by demonstrating on him, exactly how to give blow jobs. Sometimes it’s hard to connect that Dan to the Dan that’s knelt in front of him now.

Dan moves to sit on the [step](http://definitelythor.tumblr.com/post/46080734753/title-what-a-beautiful-state-were-in-pairing#) and gets his flies undone, pulling his jeans and boxers down over his legs, getting his socks and shoes off too and then leaning back.

Phil swallows and he looks around the stairwell, listening carefully for any sound, and when his eyes return to Dan, Dan’s already running his hand over his cock.

“Stop it,” Phil says, “Turn around and kneel on that [step](http://definitelythor.tumblr.com/post/46080734753/title-what-a-beautiful-state-were-in-pairing#).”

Dan does what he’s told without saying a word, his knees on the hard floor and his hands resting a few [steps](http://definitelythor.tumblr.com/post/46080734753/title-what-a-beautiful-state-were-in-pairing#) up to keep his balance. Phil kicks his own clothes away and gets his shoes and socks off, pretty confident now that people won’t walk in on them. Phil grabs Dan’s bag up off the floor again and smirks when he sees the bottle of cherry lube.

He holds it up to show Dan and raises his eye brows.

“You never know,” Dan says. He laughs and bows his head to hide his smile. Phil moves to kneel behind Dan, and he reaches to run one hand up under his t shirt, listening to Dan’s shallow breathing.

He drizzles the lube out onto his fingers and runs his other hand over the arch of Dan’s back. For a moment he pauses, admiring the way Dan’s just waiting for him, bent over the [steps](http://definitelythor.tumblr.com/post/46080734753/title-what-a-beautiful-state-were-in-pairing#) with the hard floor on his knees and elbows, and his head lowered. Phil moves his hand over the curve of Dan’s ass and then rubs his lubed up fingers gently over him, pressing a little.

“ _Yes_ fuck,” Dan hisses, pressing back into Phil. Slowly, Phil presses his two fingers in, twisting his hand. When he slides them both in to his knuckle, Dan lets out a moan that echoes in the empty stairwell and Phil laughs.

“Dan, you gotta be quiet for me okay? I really don’t want to explain this to one of our subscribers if they come wandering in here to investigate the weird moaning noises.”

Dan huffs out a laugh, imagining the awkwardness of that situation, and he nods his head. Phil leans forward to press a kiss to Dan’s lower back, and then he begins to move his fingers faster, fucking in and out of Dan and curling and scissoring them.

“Ask me,” Phil says quietly.

Dan breathes out shakily and Phil waits, titling his head and moving so he’s close to Dan, his thighs between Dan’s calves, fingers pressing deeper.

“Fuck me,” Dan whispers.

“What?”

“Fuck me Phil. Jesus Christ,” Dan says, his voice louder. Phil grins and pulls his fingers away before reaching for the lube again and drizzling it out onto his cupped palm. He strokes it over the length of his cock and grips his fingers around himself, pressing against Dan and then slowly pushing in. The heat and pressure makes him almost dizzy, and Dan squirms and presses back towards him. Phil pushes [forward](http://definitelythor.tumblr.com/post/46080734753/title-what-a-beautiful-state-were-in-pairing#), deep into the tight heat of Dan, as slow as he can stand it, and Dan hears him let out a quiet gasp. When he’s pressed flush to Dan, he moves his hands to Dan’s hips under his t shirt, feeling the curve of the bones in his palms and he rolls his own hips forward, letting out a quiet, breathy moan.

Dan bites down on his lip as Phil moves his hips again, just rocks them against Dan slowly. He feels Phil shift a little and then his fingernails dig into Dan’s skin before he pulls back, almost all the way out, and then drives his hips [forward](http://definitelythor.tumblr.com/post/46080734753/title-what-a-beautiful-state-were-in-pairing#). Dan moans again when Phil picks up his pace, and Phil reaches forward, leaning over Dan to clamp his hand over Dan’s mouth, his palm sweaty and firm and stopping any further noise from leaving Dan’s mouth. Dan lets out a breath through his nose and pushes back into Phil again. Phil keeps his hand over Dan’s mouth as he starts to fuck him harder, so Dan’s rocked forward each time Phil slams his hips.

Phil removes his hand once he’s certain Dan’s going to keep quiet, and he moves it to run his fingers through Dan’s hair, twisting his fingers and tugging.

“C’mere,” he whispers, and Dan pushes himself up with his elbows and reaches back to grab Phil for balance. The new angle feels tighter around Phil, and he drops his head to Dan’s neck to bite the skin, his hand still running through his hair as the other moves to wrap his fingers around Dan’s cock.

His hand slides messily over Dan, his thighs trembling and his eyes squeezing shut as he feels Dan clench around him. Dan can feel his orgasm building, and he places his hand over Phil’s to urge him to [stop](http://definitelythor.tumblr.com/post/46080734753/title-what-a-beautiful-state-were-in-pairing#), his body tensing.

Phil grinds [forward](http://definitelythor.tumblr.com/post/46080734753/title-what-a-beautiful-state-were-in-pairing#) into Dan, slowing right down. He leans forward to brush his lips brush over Dan’s neck. And then Phil’s hand leaves Dan’s hair and grabs his t shirt, wrapping the fabric in his fist, fucking into Dan harder, doubling his effort, and moving in and out, faster and faster as Dan rocks back into him.

  
Dan’s always kind of quiet when he comes, biting into his lip and making these soft little whimpering noises in his throat. Phil can feel him clench around him in a shuddering pulse, his whole body shaking. Phil pushes into him once more and then his own orgasm washes over him and his hips jerk as he gasps out Dan’s name.

He loosens the tight hold he has on Dan’s t shirt and Dan leans back to kiss him, his hand moving to tangle in Phil’s hair. Phil slowly pulls out and away from Dan, pressing one more kiss to his lips before he moves to get his [clothes](http://definitelythor.tumblr.com/post/46080734753/title-what-a-beautiful-state-were-in-pairing#). He looks at Dan’s red bitten lips and the way his chest is still heaving with shaking breaths.

“I got come on my fucking t shirt,” Dan says, his voice rough. Phil laughs and Dan follows him with his eyes as he pulls his [clothes](http://definitelythor.tumblr.com/post/46080734753/title-what-a-beautiful-state-were-in-pairing#) back on. Dan lets his eyes move over Phil, shamelessly drinking him in and admiring every line and curve of him until Phil turns around and catches him staring.

“Pervert.”

Dan holds his middle finger up at Phil and smiles.

“Shut up. You just fucked me in the stairwell in the Marriot hotel, you’re disgusting.”

“You know that wasn’t just me involved in that right? Pretty sure you begged for it.”

Dan rolls his eyes and pushes himself up to stand. He gets his [clothes](http://definitelythor.tumblr.com/post/46080734753/title-what-a-beautiful-state-were-in-pairing#) back on, and as he’s picking his stuff off of the floor and shoving it back into his bag, he finds their room key in one of his bags side pockets. Phil sees it in Dan’s hand and rolls his eyes.

“Jesus Christ, you didn’t look very hard did you?”

Dan answers Phil with a kiss, cupping his jaw in his hand.

“Fuck you,” he says as he [steps](http://definitelythor.tumblr.com/post/46080734753/title-what-a-beautiful-state-were-in-pairing#) back.

*

In their room, Phil curls up into Dan and buries his nose in [the back](http://definitelythor.tumblr.com/post/46080734753/title-what-a-beautiful-state-were-in-pairing#) of Dan’s head, his arms around his body and under his t shirt, just tracing over the skin.

“What are we doing exactly?” Dan asks.

Phil’s breath his warm on [the back](http://definitelythor.tumblr.com/post/46080734753/title-what-a-beautiful-state-were-in-pairing#) of Dan’s neck.

“Spooning,” Phil replies.

“You know that isn’t what I meant.”

“How about we talk about this tomorrow?” Phil asks. Dan turns over a little and looks at Phil, but Phil avoids his eyes and buries his face into the pillow. Dan doesn’t want to argue, because what’s happening now is amazing, but they’ve done this before and it really fucking hurt when Phil stopped then.

Dan lies back down and closes his eyes, and Phil’s hand leaves his side to find his hand and squeeze it.

Dan wants to talk about it _now_ , because he knows Phil will find some excuse to avoid it later, but at the same time Dan doesn’t want to break this. As soon as they actually sit down and figure out what’s going on, it all becomes real, and they go from two people messing around and using each other to get off, to two people who have seriously fucked up their friendship.

Phil used to teach Dan how to do things like give blow jobs and give love bites, and Dan was always in awe of how much Phil knew, but now Dan realises that although Phil knows how to do things like that, he doesn’t have experience in heartbreak like Dan does. Phil seems to see the world in bright splashes of colour, all shiny and exciting, but Dan knows what it’s like to love someone who doesn’t feel the same, to watch that person with someone else and to lie alone all night in an empty apartment wondering what they’re doing together. He knows what it’s like to still see fading bruises over his own neck but then hear Phil crying out someone else’s name.

He knows what it’s like to feel everything for one person and then find out that all he really is to that person is a bit of fun.

He breathes out slowly, shakily.

“I need a shower,” he mutters.

*

The water washes over Dan and he closes his eyes, trying to stop thinking of Phil. It doesn’t last long, because after a moment the [shower door](http://definitelythor.tumblr.com/post/46080734753/title-what-a-beautiful-state-were-in-pairing#) opens and Phil lets in a wave of cold air before he steps in next to Dan. He moves close to him and then leans forward to just nudge their noses together.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Dan says, his voice tight.

“You know you’re my best [friend](http://definitelythor.tumblr.com/post/46080734753/title-what-a-beautiful-state-were-in-pairing#) right? Like, you’ll always be. Forever.”

Dan pushes the wet curls from his face and tries to smile at Phil, but it falters and then falls.

“I know.”

“I don’t want to do anything you’re uncomfortable with.”

Dan closes his eyes again, squeezing them shut and he remembers Phil’s bed and the smell and taste of cherries, and Phil watching him with wide blue eyes and saying those exact same words. Phil rests his forehead against Dan’s now, so their mouths are only a breath way.

“We’ll [stop](http://definitelythor.tumblr.com/post/46080734753/title-what-a-beautiful-state-were-in-pairing#) now if you want to stop,” Phil says.

Dan moves to kiss Phil and brings his hands up to hold his face. If this was anyone else, in any other situation, Dan thinks that right now they’d be whispering _I love yous_ into each others mouths, but they don’t do that. Phil moves to press his mouth over the bruises on Dan’s neck, just kissing over them and then over Dan’s jaw and back to his mouth.

When he breaks the kiss to look at Dan the water is sticking to his lashes so it looks like he’s crying, and the spray of the shower is beginning to fade to lukewarm. Dan shuts his eyes and leans against Phil’s shoulder, just listening to the water and feeling Phil’s heartbeat under his fingertips.

“I want to [stop](http://definitelythor.tumblr.com/post/46080734753/title-what-a-beautiful-state-were-in-pairing#),” Dan says finally.

Phil trembles, goosebumbs on his skin as the water starts to run cold. He moves to wrap his arms around Dan and hug him tightly, pressing a kiss to his wet hair.

He doesn’t say anything at all, but when he moves away Dan leans [forward](http://definitelythor.tumblr.com/post/46080734753/title-what-a-beautiful-state-were-in-pairing#) and kisses him again, because something tugs him in, and it’s like he can’t bear the thought of this ending, even though everything in him knows it needs to stop.

*

Phil’s on his fifth cocktail, and Dan’s still eyeing Jack Harries like he’s a piece of meat, smiling every time they catch each others eyes like a school girl. It’s hard to not be jealous, even though Phil isn’t sure he has much right to be. He places a hand on Dan’s knee, smiling over at Tyler as he says something, and then he squeezes Dan’s leg through the denim of his jeans.

Dan’s eyes finally move from Jack to glance at Phil, who just moves his hand to press his palm over the front of Dan’s jeans. Dan’s breath catches in his throat and he takes a large mouthful from his drink to try and disguise the sound, feeling his cheeks flush red.

When Phil starts playing with the zip on Dan’s jeans he feels Dan reach down and grab his arm, digging his fingers into the flesh as a warning. For the rest of the meal, Dan’s eyes never once flicker over to Jack, even when he’s talking. He just keeps looking at Phil with wide eyes.

  
  


They’re in the lift [back up](http://definitelythor.tumblr.com/post/46080734753/title-what-a-beautiful-state-were-in-pairing#) to their flat when Phil catches Dan looking at him in the mirrored wall, and they hold each others gaze. Dan lets out a breath and realises how far gone he already is, and how he’s pretty sure he won’t be able to stop this even if he tries. Phil watches him and slowly his lips quirk into a smile. Dan swallows.

_He’s so fucked._


End file.
